(no subject)

[rhoddlet]

From the darling religion discussion on my LJ and form staring at darkrosetiger's LJ icon way too fucking much. A timed writing exercise.

1:11

*

Lupin likes Snape exactly because Snape doesn't look real.

Life isn't exactly real to begin with when you're a werewolf. For part of your life, you're stumbling through a dream where everything is covered in grey cloth and you have wax stuffed in your ears and mouth and spread on your tongue; your fingers are oddly spidery, and you can't rid yourself of the feeling that things are crawling on you. The other part, you're ghosting through landscapes and time in a world where colors are nothing and the world is full of smells like emotions.

It's a funny existence, one where you feel like you don't inhabit your own skin, and sixteen year old boys are uncomfortable enough in them to begin with.

But Lupin appreciates the fact that Snape has an old fashioned face. A face and hands like that, and you can't quite reconcile yourself to the world. Those long cheeks, that high forehead, those thin lips that flush impossibly red after he gives a blowjob, not the bright spots of color on his cheeks when he gets one. Red, black, and the strange way his forehead folds over when he frowns. Remus likes running his fingers across the frown and feeling the crisp edges on Snape's skin, then kissing them away.

The whole thing makes Potter brood and makes Sirius growly, and the day after Sirius came back and found talking in the hallway outside the Fat Lady, Sirius kicked Severus in the kidneys while they were switching classes, then punched him in the face. Remus was angry enough to go up to Sirius and tell him to let Severus alone or the next time that if he didn't let Severus alone, the next time that they were in the Shack together, he was going to show Sirius why dogs don't run with wolves.

Sirius had been a little startled, and Remus remembers smiling in triumph afterwards, this strange, intoxicating feeling behind his eyes. Potter had spoken up after Black leff the room, and he'd said, "You see that he's poisoning you, don't you?"

"And Lily's tying you to her with ladylove vines?"

The funny thing about James is that you can see emotions move on his face. There's a whole weather system bound up into those small, finely made characters, complete with clouds, sunny days and the occaisional tropical hurricane. Hurricans are always female, and lately, they only have one name. "That's different," James says.

It is a commonly held fallacy that werewolves mate for life. Wolves might, but werewolves are a completely different species. If a pack of wolves comes upon a newly turned werewolf who hasn't made his first kill and thus, hasn't acquired his power over all things of the forest, they will tear him apart more viciously than they will a man.

But Remus thinks that if he ever does settle down with someone, if there ever is somebody who will have him for always, it'll have to be somebody like Severus, who isn't of this time or this place. Last summer, Remus goes to visit Snape at his house. Not during one of those weeks, of course, and Remus had never had so much fun as in that rambling old Scottish fortress-castle with floor stones the side of a small child and twenty foot thick walls. Snape lived one room of the house; his parents in the other, and the only time he ever saw them was if they happened to be in the Hall at the same time. Snape even had his own house-elf who did the cooking and cleaning.

And it's strange, Lupin thinks. That's the only place he's ever felt -- well, not at home, because he loves Hogwarts, but as if he were unremarkable. Not that other people thought he was unremarkable, which happens a great deal, but as if he were about to fade away himself amidst those arrow-slit windows and the portraits of past Snapes in their black Calvinist suits and high collars, and he sees the echoes of that in Snape's face, in his hands, in his rich tones and even in the strange, courtly and desperate way Snape kisses him.

He's fading away, and he loves Snape for it.

*
1:18
*
The ending sucks. I'll think of a better one in a bit.

Comments

[penelope-z.livejournal.com]

oh god, I love you. my favourite pairing

[rhoddlet.livejournal.com]

I thought of you while writing this, actually, and it was your note about having your favorite relationship be Snape/Lupin that set me off on this particular tangent. Glad it comes up to standard.

moaning

[olympia-m.livejournal.com]

this is so good it hurts! literally!!!

Re: moaning

[rhoddlet.livejournal.com]

Nah, that pain is probably from all the spelling and punctuation and grammatical and phrases-that-I-wish-I-could change-and-they-completely-change-the-fucking-point-of-the-sentence kinda stuff.

Re: moaning

[olympia-m.livejournal.com]

get real!

:) :)

Color me impressed

[kissaki.livejournal.com]

And this was a drill? This is really very good. I think perhaps you should flag this for further development later if you are inclined to do so.

Thanks for this most pleasant diversion.

Re: Color me impressed

[rhoddlet.livejournal.com]

It was originally part of the rabid, Ebola-carrying bunny that bit me last night, but I couldn't figure how to work it in, and I've been vaguely obsessed with Lupin since I found out he had yellow eyes. We'll see if it goes in because the idea of Severus/Lupin fascinates me right now. L's always been such a mousy little character to me before, probably because I hadn't read the books very carefully or with much of an eye for him the first time I picked out favorite characters, but there's something wonderful about the idea that he's a werewolf and thus not really human at all.

*g* It was part drill, part, "I'm going to explode if I don't write some of this down." But I'm glad you're impressed. :)

Mmm.

[slightlights.livejournal.com]

Timed writing? Go you. How did it feel to write that way? Thanks for showing it to us before you edit the ending.

Especially love: the comparison of worlds, incl. 'colors are nothing and the world is full of smells like emotion'; Snape's varied coloration while giving/getting blowjobs; 'he was going to show Sirius why dogs don't run with wolves' (oh yeah, baby); James' emotions as weather and 'Hurrican[e]s are always female, and lately, they only have one name'; werewolves and wolves; the portraits of past Snapes. It's funny: because I see Snape as Snape so often, not Severus, it feels at first as if they might as well be plurals of the very same person. Which... ::kicks plot bunny::

Re: Mmm.

[rhoddlet.livejournal.com]

::stabs a couple of hers, but they come baaaaack from the dead::

Snape is fascinating, especially after that conversation last night on how he's the Jew of Hogwarts. *snickers* Poor baby. And I'm glad you like the fic, although I think I'm going to have to edit some of those lines you picked out in the version I upload to FF.net because I'm going to have to do some kind of explanation as to how the world can be grey *and* Severus can stand out in such color. True love and all that, donchyaknow.

*snorgles you*

[darkrosetiger.livejournal.com]

From the darling religion discussion on my LJ and form staring at darkrosetiger's LJ icon way too fucking much. A timed writing exercise.

Hmm. I was going to apologize, but after reading that, I think not. I'm especially glad to see a Snape/Lupin that points out that wolves != werewolves, and this line had me rolling: "Remus was angry enough to go up to Sirius and tell him to let Severus alone or the next time that if he didn't let Severus alone, the next time that they were in the Shack together, he was going to show Sirius why dogs don't run with wolves." I do so love assertive!Remus.

Mmm. So what do we have to to to get you to write more?

[rhoddlet.livejournal.com]

You shouldn't even have thought about apologizing -- I think I left a rapturous comment on your LJ one day about how much I was in lust with your icon. It's sexy, sexy, sexy keen, and I'm glad to see that you appreciate the bit on the difference between wolves and werewolves. It always pissed me off when I read Lupin fics, and I'm fascinated by the idea of human-but-not-quite. Anyway, here's a question for you, O Goddess of RPG Knowledge: will silver hurt werewolves in their human form? And what RPG is it that you're playing?

[darkrosetiger.livejournal.com]

will silver hurt werewolves in their human form?

Yes. Spyder's fic "Provocation: Descent into Hell" has some particularly graphic examples of this. Remus sustains serious injuries when that little rat Pettigrew fists him with the silver hand, and Macnair uses silver nitrate as lube.

And what RPG is it that you're playing?

Pen-and-paper is 3rd Ed. AD&D. I'm also nominally in three different online Harry Potter RPG's. One day I'll find one where I'm not playing both Sev and Lucius.

[rhoddlet.livejournal.com]

*disappears under sudden air-delivery shipment of plot-bunnies*

Oh wow.

*scurries off to read*

[rhoddlet.livejournal.com]

Evil woman. It's not on FF.net. Any ideas?

rhoddlet
guessing that since it involves fisting, it's *probably* not on FA.

Oops.

[darkrosetiger.livejournal.com]

Sorry--it's a WIP, and only on the Snape/Remus Yahoo group, which is at:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/lupin_snape_slash/

[sqeakyclean.livejournal.com]

The other part, you're ghosting through landscapes and time in a world where colors are nothing and the world is full of smells like emotions.

Meep. I love you. Early morning, and to find a wonderful Snape/Lupin ficlet. Though you could conceivably write on if you don't like the ending.

[luciusmalfoy.livejournal.com]

you are so good.

i want to bear your children.